Back Into It


It’s been a few years since I last posted (try three) and a lot has changed. I’ve changed universities, degrees, where I live and probably so many more other things.
Lets start with study; I moved from the seaside 3hours back to Melbourne, Australia and changed universities in 2014 while also selecting a rehabilitation counselling health science major by default thanks to a “full quota” for anatomy and physiology (problem #1).

2014 also saw the passing of both my boyfriends grandmother whom I had grown so close too and my own dearest grandmother, who passed away 8months following major heart surgery (her strength throughout that time was astounding, so incredible). She and my grandfather both live(d) on the farm with my parents so growing up my brother and I always called in on the way to and from school. She really was the worlds best cook.. for months following her passing I craved her freshly cooked scones, biscuits and egg and bacon pie (her food was heaven) and of course I missed her company. So I am down to one grandparent and I’m trying to cherish every moment I can with him.

2015, saw a change in degrees as I really was not enjoying rehabilitation counselling, it wasn’t what I thought it would be and wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to go. So after much discussion with year coordinators, I transferred into Exercise Science and am loving it! I am now a third year student, almost ready to graduate my undergrad degree at the end of next year (thanks to a slight hiccup in my study plan) and do my masters. The year also saw me go a little bit insane and decide to take on two lots of certificates- certificate 3+4 in fitness, and certificate 3+4 in Allied Health Assistance. Both certificate 3’s a done and as of today, I have just finished my clinical placement for certificate 4 in AHA. It was an incredible placement, helping others who need it and it really reminded me why I am chasing a masters in physiotherapy. It has given me a much needed boost in motivation and determination to really push this year in my studies to ensure I get a place in the Masters program.
tumblr_ldzq5gV9fY1qzpe8uo1_500As for this new year, we’re only a few months in (ALREADY?!). I moved off university residence in November 2015 with a friend who studies the same thing. We have a little apartment not far from uni. One of the biggest changes I’ve seen is my stress and anxiety levels. They have sky rocketed. I think mainly due to my living arrangements/conditions which I wasn’t expecting at all. Anyone who knows me knows I am a neat freak, probably on the boarder of OCD and my housemate, while is tidy and clean, just isn’t as tidy and clean as me. I’m trying to adjust to her standards, but some weeks just seem worse than others. So to help manage all my stress and anxiety, I go to the gym almost daily (early bird gets the worm) and got to yoga as often as I can. If you guys have any other ideas to help with stress and anxiety management please leave a comment as I would love to hear and try almost anything!!

On the personal front, I am still with my boyfriend.. We’re going on 4years now (insert wedding bells). He is still super supportive as always and still makes me laugh and smile, its always a fun time. Mum and Dad still support me, although I now qualify for Centrelink due to my age so hopefully I can start on that soon to make things easier on them. Mum is my best friend, we literally text everyday just to check in with each other. She offers so much support especially when my stress and anxiety are peaking (I dare say she sometimes knows how to handle it better than me). I don’t talk to Dad all that often.. He makes me home sick. They still fly me home once a month which I am always ever so grateful for. My brother is still very much the same (I swear we should have been twins!). My sister is now married (has been for three years), lives in the UK and is due to come home soon. As for my cat, Millie.. Mum is her favourite.



For all Australians.


As if moving isn’t hard enough with packing and transportation but moving state for university, away from everyone you know to have to make new friends and become familiar with new surroundings while trying to be independent BUT needing financial support from your parents seems to make more stressful and difficult.

I know without a doubt that my parents would help me financially with what ever help I needed but after putting me through the private school system for year eleven and twelve I felt in debt to them. I hate asking for money, I once flew home to my home state with two dollars in my wallet much to my mothers distaste because I simply dislike taking from them when they have already given me so much. Despite searching for a job early in the beginning of my university life, employment opportunities in a small community are limited, and come July I was to endure a second knee reconstruction.

I decided to go to Centrelink , Australia’s welfare system to see if I was eligible to receive payments, even if it was just an additional fifty dollars a week, but unfortunately my parents earn above the threshold for payments and I don’t qualify as an independent due to my age. However, I was eligible for a health care card which made medical appointments easier and less stressful. So despite moving to another state, which took a good seven hours to reach my parents home or university, despite being a full time student studying at an Australian institution and despite being an Australian citizen, I did not qualify for welfare payments!

It wasn’t until a few weeks later when a friend (who receives payments) and I went to Centrelink I noticed while waiting, a sign on the wall saying ‘Centrelink, for all Australians’. When my friend returned from the counter after being served I pointed it out to her and the only word used was “bull s**t” and she agreed with me.

I don’t have an issue with welfare being handed to those who need it; single parents, or parents who cannot fully support their children, aboriginal families but I loathe those who receive welfare and blow tax payers money on unnecessary clothes, cigarettes, alcohol and tattoos or those who rely purely on welfare without trying to gain employment.

I am an Australian citizen studying full time at an Australian institution that has had to relocate in order to study my chosen profession as it isn’t offered at my state university. It takes more than ninety minutes to reach the location of my parents home and location of study. I am trying to become independent from my parents yet I am denied any financial support from the Australian Commonwealth Government’s Centrelink.

The Australian welfare system is a joke.

Everyone’s Got That Something


From a young age I never knew what my talent was and at nineteen years old, I still don’t. 

During primary school I deemed myself as a tomboy: I would play soccer with the boys, disputing every little thing and I would hang out with my older brother (18 months difference) in the paddock or playing with his hot wheels cars. While I played the usual girly Australian sport, netball, and had the normal feminine toys like Barbie dolls, I had no interest in pretty dresses, skirts or tops. I was simply happy in a tank, jeans and boots.

It wasn’t until secondary school that I wore my first dress in a good five years, a part from the odd occasion that occurred and required me to dress femininely. I began my first month of secondary schooling in with the ‘posh group’ of year seven before realising it wasn’t where I fitted best. I then hung out with a group of girls who were into sex, smokes and parties. I began choosing black champion track pants over dresses and wore high tops/skate shoes over little black ballet flats. This dress code continued until the beginning of year nine where I started to question myself about my presentation, wondering why it was and still is seen in society that females should wear pink and dresses and boys should wear blue and jeans or shorts. I also questioned the type of company I was keeping which was greatly influenced by the two most loving and caring people who brought me into this world. I weaned myself off the company I had been keeping since year seven and reconnected with the two of my primary school friends that had always dressed nicely and according to their gender.

In my final year of high school (year ten), just two days out from my sweet sixteenth, I lost my best friend, a family member and someone I wish could have seen me finish one chapter of my life ~ my grandfather. He passed away from lung cancer. While I am thankful he is longer suffering the pain and heart ache every part of me misses him beyond measures. After his passing, things didn’t go well for me. I began skipping classes I didn’t like just to go sit at the back of the school and basically breakdown into tears. Eventually the grade coordinator decided that I should perhaps see the school counsellor Ben. With his help, I was able to go through the stages of grief in a more healthier way than what I was doing. I still skipped some classes but eventually I returned to all of them with in a month. Ben would drive me to the cemetery every two weeks during our sessions to sit with my grandfather and grandmother (who has passed away in 2005). My mother didn’t know about this, or my skipping class. I never told her I visited every two weeks because I didn’t want to make her cry and I knew I would feel stupid for talking to a head stone in front of her. Plus I wouldn’t have been able to say or talk about things, when I was sitting with my grandparents despite the tears, it felt like it was our time.

I mentioned at the start that I never knew and still don’t know what my talent is. I believe everyone has a unique talent of their own; some have a sporting talent, others are musical or mathematical. I began playing netball at seven years of age, beginning in under twelves and finishing in division two, the second highest in my local association. In year nine (2009) I was playing up to five games a week. In this year I played in three grand finals but only winning one and it was the most memorable experience. I swapped clubs and associations in 2012 which brought a whole new meaning to working hard and fitness. I believe that this particular year my fitness was at its best despite being hampered with ankle injuries.  Little did I know that 2012 would be my final year of netball. My team had made it to the grand final and we were leading by five points until the unbelievable happened. I fell, twisting at the knee and completely snapping my anterior cruciate ligament in my left knee. I knew what would then follow… Reconstruction. My orthopaedic surgeon told me I can’t play again which probably tore me a part more than being told I needed surgery. It felt like I had lost the love of my life, the one thing that I had become truly passionate about in year eight. This injury lingered for two months from the time of the accident until the time of surgery. It impacted my final year twelve examinations and leavers celebrations following. 

In January, 2013 I received my university offer and despite originally planning to defer for a year I decided to take it. I packed up majority of my room at my parents to move states, leaving behind my boyfriend of six months ( we are still together almost a year later ). Moving off to university allowed me to further become my own independent person without living in the shadows of my parents. I was in control of my money and spendings, I chose what I ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I finished my first year with a second knee reconstruction, three passes, two credits and three distinctions, and also a loving supportive boyfriend to come home to and spend my holidays with. 

I don’t know what my talent is, perhaps is the ability to make people laugh or keep people strong or maybe I haven’t discovered it yet at all. Maybe I will find it tomorrow, a week, a month or year later. Don’t give up looking for your talent. If everyone is unique then everyone has the own unique talent, they each bring something new to the table.